It's not about you.

To them, your success feels like an attack. Your confidence feels like a threat.

Sometimes their resentment has nothing to do with what you’ve done, or who you are—it’s about what they’ve decided that you represent.

They resent your confidence because it reminds them of their insecurities. They don’t want to see you shine, because it’s easier for them to reckon with their own shortcomings if they can convince themselves that everyone else is hurting and struggling the same way that they are.

To them, your success feels like an attack. Your confidence feels like a threat.

So they take it upon themselves to “humble” you, instead of building themselves up.

They may try to be the “karma” that they think you deserve, not realizing that they’re only hurting their own.

It’s easier to demonize another human being than to look in the mirror. And when you’re on the receiving end of their misplaced anger, frustration, and resentment, it’s easy to wonder if you deserved the way that they mistreated you.

You wonder if this was somehow your fault. You say to yourself, “if only I was a bit less conspicuous. If only I didn’t take up so much space. If only I could blend in. If only I didn’t threaten them, maybe I wouldn’t have pushed them to treat me so poorly.”

It’s tempting to hide your light. You start to wonder if it’s safer for you to shrink yourself than to take up the space that you rightfully deserve in this world.

But their insecurities were never yours to manage. The truth is, if you hid yourself to avoid their envy, they would simply find another scapegoat.

If you’re finding ways to succeed without sacrificing your integrity in the process, be proud of that. You’re doing what you’re supposed to do—and it’s not your fault that they’re letting their jealousy get in the way of the path that’s meant for them.

You can wish them well without feeding into their toxicity. And you can remember that for every person who feels threatened by your confidence or intimidated by your success, there is another person that is thankful that you exist, because your existence gives them a real life example of what’s possible.