A letter to my younger self
Sometimes, you’ll be the punchline in someone else’s joke, or the villain in someone else’s story.
In my early 20’s, I was really defensive about the way that people perceived me. I had a big chip on my shoulder and felt like I had a lot to prove to the world about who I was, and what I was capable of—so when people made offhand comments that went against the person I was working so hard to become, I would either argue or hold onto a quiet form of resentment about what was said for months, or even years. I really, really needed people to believe in me.
I’m 33 now. If I could go back in time and talk to 23-year-old Michell today, here are some of the things that I’d tell him:
“There will always be moments when you want to feel accepted. You will always want people to believe in you, particularly the people you love. But you will never be able to control what anyone thinks of you.”
“Trying to “prove yourself” to people will exhaust you—trust me, I’ve tried. And I’ve learned it’s impossible for the “real” to please every person you come into contact with, no matter how much you want to be liked or respected. You don’t have to prove any of your doubters or naysayers wrong—just prove yourself right.”
“Get clear on who you are and what you stand for, and live in alignment with the person you already know that you are. Everyone is constantly making judgements about the people around them—and to be clear, you’re not special. You do it, too. It’s human nature. Accept it and let it be what it is.”
“You don’t have to prove your intellect in every room that you walk into. You don’t have to argue for the sake of arguing. You don’t have to debate with people who are listening to react, instead of listening to understand.”
“Sometimes, you’ll be better served by removing yourself from situations instead of trying to prove a point. Sometimes, you’ll be the punchline in someone else’s joke, or the villain in someone else’s story. Just make sure that you’re the protagonist worth protecting when it’s time for you to write your next chapter.”
I’ve had the privilege of writing in public for over a decade, and I enjoy helping other writers to reach their goals and solve problems. I’d love to work with you–book a clarity call with me here.